My Story

In April 2003, at the age of 27, I found myself getting divorced.  As if facing divorce wasn’t overwhelming enough at that age, I was also a mom to three little girls ages 4, 2, and 6 months.  Being a single mom was not in my plan!  I was what I call the three S’s, sad, scared and stuck.  Not sure what my future held and regretting decisions I had made which put me in what felt like a no-win situation.  It is true when they say, “no one wins in a divorce”, however, there are always ways to prevent the deck from being stacked against you.  At that time, it felt as if the deck was stacked against me.

Not to rehash my past but to paint the picture you must know some pertinent facts.  When I got engaged, I was 21 years old and he was 34 years old.  His family asked that I sign a pre-nup and against some good legal advice, I signed it.  At the time my belief was that I came into the marriage with my 1989 Pontiac Sunbird and $900± in my checking account and if something were to happen in the marriage, I would be okay leaving the same way.

Well, fast forward to our separation in 2003, I felt like I was so naïve to have thought that I would be okay.  Here I was a stay-at-home mom (3 small children, not even school age yet), no income of my own, and a pre-nup on file.  I was in a home I could no longer afford and afraid of moving my girls out of the only home they ever knew.  Where would we go?  How would I swing working with 3 young children?  Did I mention that I only had my associate’s degree in early childhood education and no other formal training of any kind.

Boy did I feel helpless, hopeless and completely unprepared for my future.  How did I end up here?  I was completely dependent on a man.  Clueless as to what our financial situation was, how much we spent a month, what our mortgage payment was, how much we had in the bank, etc.  Why didn’t anyone warn me before now?  Oh well, no use staying stuck, we can’t rewrite our past.  It is what we do next that defines us, right?

I began reading, researching and asking questions in any and all situations that I was unsure about.  I learned everything I could and tried to figure out what my next move would be.  I decided that I would go back to school and get a bachelor’s degree in accounting.  That was the one thing that no one could ever take from me.  Knowledge is power!

Throughout my 3½ year divorce, the thing that was the most difficult for me was organizing my finances, creating a budget, and completing my net worth statement (which is required, and if you have ever had to do one, you are probably silently agreeing with me right now). IT IS A DAUNTING TASK!!!  I told my attorney that I wish I could hire someone to complete the net worth statement for me, and I was informed that there was no such person.

Finances are tied to emotions, thoughts and beliefs.  It can get difficult to see through to the light at the end of the tunnel when you are walking in the dark, alone.  I procrastinated, cried, cursed and ate M&Ms through the entire tedious process.  I promised myself that one day I would help others who were struggling with similar tasks.

After I graduated, I worked as an auditor for 9 years and continued to learn from every opportunity that I encountered.  I was even lucky enough to be given the opportunity to take my ex back to court twice more, and each time I had to complete and update my net worth statement.  Let me tell you, your girl is a pro now at complete net worth statements and organizing finances.  Now is the time for me to help others.

Let’s do it!!  We are truly better together <3